Tools
In active addiction, the world probably looked like a horrible place. Using helped us tolerate the world we saw. Today, however, we understand that the world's condition wasn't really the problem. It was our ideas and attitudes about the world that made it impossible for us to find a comfortable place in it.
Our attitudes and our ideas are the eyeglasses through which we see our lives. If our "glasses" are smudged or dirty, our lives look dim. If our attitudes aren't well focused, the whole world appears distorted. To see the world clearly, we need to keep our attitudes and ideas clean, free of things like resentment, denial, self-pity, and closed-mindedness. To insure our vision of life is in focus, we have to bring our ideas in line with reality.
In addiction, our best thinking kept us from clearly seeing either the world or our part in it. Recovery serves to correct the prescriptions in our attitudinal eyewear. By stripping away our denial and replacing it with faith, self-honesty, humility, and responsibility, the steps help us see our lives in a whole new way. Then the steps help us keep our spiritual lenses clean, encouraging us to regularly examine our ideas, our attitudes, and our actions.
Today, seen through the clean lenses of faith and recovery the world looks like a warm, inviting place to live.
Thoughtfulness is baked into the culture of NA meetings. We take turns sharing, and we share the time. The rest of us participate by listening, though that doesn't necessarily mean we do so in silence. Many of us find healing in the laughter we share. That phrase--"participate by listening"--is sometimes used as a polite way to decline when called upon to share. But it's more than that--it's a real and valid option. Listening is an act of love.
When we're new, our chameleon-like instincts set us up for thoughtful and empathetic listening. Even as we focus on blending in, we find ourselves responding instinctively with laughter, knowing nods, tearful eyes, or words of affirmation and encouragement. We bring the body, and the mind follows; we might start by faking empathy, only to realize we're acting our way into better thinking. We find ourselves establishing new values. When we thoughtfully listen and engage, we show ourselves and each other that our stories matter.
Practicing thoughtfulness can really be as simple as "kind thoughts, kind words, kind deeds," as one member put it. "My outlook changes when I'm looking for that magic moment when some small act will make a difference for someone else. When I lift someone else up, we both feel better." Our thoughtfulness is a gift we give and receive. It contributes to our sense of belonging and helps us to experience unity.