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Our addiction has been a source of shame to many of us. We have hidden ourselves from others, sure that if anyone got to know who we really were they would reject us. NA helps us learn self-acceptance.
Many of us find a great deal of relief just from attending meetings, hearing fellow addicts share their stories, and discovering that others have felt the same way we feel about ourselves. When others share honestly with us who they are, we feel free to do the same. As we learn to tell others the truth about ourselves, we learn to accept ourselves.
Self-disclosure, however, is only the beginning. Once we've shared the things that make us uncomfortable with our lives, we need to find a different way to live--and that's where the steps come in. We develop a concept of a Higher Power. We inventory our lives, in detail, and discuss our inventory with our sponsor. We ask the God of our understanding to remove our character defects, the shortcomings that are the source of our troubles. We take responsibility for the things we've done and make amends for them. And we incorporate all these disciplines into our daily lives, "practicing these principles in all our affairs."
By working the steps, we can become people we are proud to be. We can freely tell the truth about ourselves, for we have nothing to hide.
Active addiction shrinks our worlds, and our curiosity often withers from inactivity. For many of us, that first exposure to NA wakes up a dormant sense of wonder. We may be somewhat puzzled by what we observe at our first encounters with the Fellowship, but we find it pretty compelling. As one member put it, "Looking back now, I could tell that you all had experienced the agony of addiction and then found a way to live clean and still be yourselves." Curiosity about how NA makes that possible is one of the factors that keeps us coming back.
Without the constant numbing of drug use, our curiosity is reinvigorated. It may seem like a minor player given all the changes we experience, especially early on, but it's also a consistent, reverberating background to our awakening. In retrospect, we can see how that curiosity nudged us onto this new road of discovery. As we make our way down this road, again and again, curiosity helps us find the necessary courage to ask for help and learn from others.
The NA message starts with abstinence and ends with "find a new way to live." The meaning of this final phrase evolves just as we do. It applies to every stage of our growth and change as we place one foot in front of the other on the path of recovery. We get older, yes, and that beats the alternative. We meet each phase of life head-on, curious to see where our journey will take us and how our assets and abilities can lead us to serve in new ways. "Even as she was dying, she was teaching us how to live," one member shared about her beloved sponsor.
The road narrows as we become less inclined to follow the dead ends of our old escape mechanisms. But a leaner road opens up to a world of genuinely nourishing practices and healthy connections. We follow our curiosity along interesting back streets and we're set free to find a new way of life that fits our current chapter.
See the Pen Spiritual Principle Generator by Little River Group (@lrgrockford) on CodePen.
See the Pen Spiritual Principle Generator by KANA Activities Subcommittee (@KANAActivitiesSubcommittee) on CodePen.